Monday, December 14, 2015


A simple word as it may sound, Recall simply keeps happening in my mind. Not sure, if its the same for everyone my age and kind, but thought its okay to share anyways.

I looked at a sketch that my daughter made and recall how some of our precious books back home had similar scribbles - those of mine, my mother told me later.

I heard two college students talk about Voltage, Shunt and Series and Parallel Controller and some such highly "Electrical Engineering" like words this morning. Could not help recall how I was in a similar position fifteen years ago discussing and studying same subject.

I bought coconut cookies yesterday for my children and recalled how I used to be crazy about them back in childhood.

I got dressed in a saree the other day and my daughter asked if I would buy her the same color saree some day. Recalled how I had asked similar questions to my mother when I was of my daughter's age.

I take the children out today and they hail an auto immediately. I recall how I loved auto travels too back in childhood, and even today.

Recalls are good if they make you smile. Recalls make you connect with the past and the people of the past. Recalls ascertain that nothing of the basics change over the generations or decades. The stage that you are in makes the decision and not YOU really. And its good if a child behaves like one, a teen ager behaves like one, a college student behaves like one and a working professional behaves like one..

After this stage is when the RECALLS really happen more often... When we realize that the wheels keep moving just the same way always . Today or Yesterday or Tomorrow.

Life is a Wheel. The Tyre on it may change over times but the concept of the Wheel is quite old and stands tall. 

Thursday, December 03, 2015

Cuddalore - Pondy - Chennai

There was a time when I used to travel from Chennai to Cuddalore every month at least once. So, I knew the roads too well. We have had several cyclones, almost every November and heard this November-December episode has the town shattered completely.

And Chennai.. Although a short stint of three years in Chennai, I have relatives living in Chennai, which means my association with Chennai is more than I have with any other city in India. I love the city for all its highs and lows, plus and minus, facts and fictions. It was an interesting phase of my life. I saw the tsunami times in Cuddalore and Chennai and kind of know how bad it can be to the people who live close to the sea.

The current torrential rainfall in the East coast, India, makes me go back in time and I keep thinking of Chennai more often than I want to. I like the people's strength and the standing up together for each other and the city to get back in action.


Monday, November 30, 2015

You must love it to win.

I came across a beautifully hand-written book title in a hospital's reception desk. I could not help asking, "is it hand-written or printed?". The counter clerk was visibly pleased that the work got noticed and said it was hand-written.

Such beautiful script it is, the Cursive. I recalled some of my friends' handwriting that I have admired throughout my school days, and I still do. Mine was also once in the list of award-winning hand-writing.

Today, after years of leaving school I find it very hard to write a legible piece of text in a notebook. The other day I had to write a note to my daughter's class teacher in her school diary. Pathetic is the best word I can use for my hand writing at present.

Surprisingly, all the cards or wishes that I write still come out neat!!! Which is a good news. But, I want to work on my handwriting. I managed to find someone who has a really good hand writing in the same hospital and asked him about how he manages to keep his handwriting as good as it is, in this computer dominated world. He is also on the computer all the time. I came to know that his love for pens and writing styles is the reason for his good hand writing skills. How True!!! Little did I realize that there was a time when I used to love pens and writing. Now I hardly take time at the store to really choose a nice pen for myself. I simply pick out a pen and that's the last thing I would spend time on at any store.. explains how disinterested I am in actually writing neatly.

Somewhere I have learnt that for anything to work well, you must actually admire it or something related to it.

Cooking - You should either like the dish yourself, or think of the smiles when people in your house taste it, or you should like your kitchen, the cooking set-up or your new mixer, or should like the person you are cooking the dish for. If one of these is true, your dish will definitely come out well.

Same with studies, hobbies, interests and everything in this world. It all depends on how much you are interested. And the worst part is, you cannot cultivate interest if you have not imagined success at least once.

Today, I saw a beautiful picture.. So beautiful that I cant take my eyes off it. Realized that I run a lot everyday with zero time to spare and needed to stop and admire this picture. Took few min on the picture and in the evening managed to buy myself a drawing book to start my drawing hobby all over again. Lets see how much it cycles on, but feels good to have started the foundation. You must love something to do well in the subject. Whatever context it is.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Feel Like Writing

After a very long time, I am in this 'Feel like writing' mood. I discovered that this happens when the mind is full of something and words are few.

I am thinking of closing this series of blog posts soon, say mid of next year and then planning to do something different on blog. Ten years of blogging, although very rare these days, blogger has been my start of real writing.

Technical Writing, Content Writing, Technology Writing, Techno-functional Writing, Instructional Writing are few of the many kinds of writing that my jobs taught me. But my blog taught me things that these kinds of writing didn't teach.

How to write without worrying about the grammar?
How to write without worrying about what a reviewer would say?
How to take comments well?
How to think like it doesn't matter what you write as long as you write without hurting other people?

Somewhere during the blogging tenure I thought I will try to make some cash out of it... Then dropped the idea.
Someone picked up content that they thought interesting and posted on newspaper.. Felt good. Then decided that I wont target the newspaper as well. It should just happen that I write something and it gets liked and picked up. It is so easy to start writing for a targeted audience which I didn't want.
Some people I know started blogging and claim to have got the interest from my blog pages. This is good news and I cherish the credits.

Some people still follow my blog, although I rarely can make time for blogging. It is for those bloggers I write this post notifying of my decision to start a new blog, the topics or content of which are not yet decided. I am not even sure if I would be doing a new blog space, but the fact is I want to do something new. When it clicks you will see it as a post before I wind up this space.

I still have a few more months before my new venture begins, so keep watching for some thoughts that may come up.. although in the middle of the night like NOW.


Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Midnight Masala

Its a popular colloquial term I recall from my Chennai times used in many contexts. Here my context is : At four minutes past midnight on a very normal day/night, what are the masalas on my head :

1. How do some people's skin glow like they just came back from utopia where there are no rashes, blemishes, tan and wrinkles?
2. How do some children sleep through the night from day one of their birth?
3. How can work be exciting after a trying and tiring day at home with regular demands from everyone?
4. How does programming glue you to computer like nothing else in this world?
5. Why does a No Whatsapp message bring a slight 'low' to you at this hour? Would everyone you know be night watching like I do?
6. What is for tomorrow's breakfast?
7. Did I sign the school diary today?
8. Do I have a work plan for tomorrow's home day and work day?
9.Isn't multiplication the toughest math in this world?
10. What is it like to Sleep like a Log and to Sleep like a baby?
11.Do we get to recall all of these in the same order or different in the next five minutes? Possibly Not.. The mind will be at the next question set then...

Now, why isn't the mind ready to take rest??

Should just go off on a holiday sometime.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Realization - Huge Leap

Realizations are generally blessings when they happen in time. I have been feeling overwhelmed over the last few years with child birth, the after math effect which includes predominantly crying and trying to understand the cries mostly, dealing with toddlers and the nano-second to second mood swings - both theirs and mine.

Yesterday was the first ever time I have been away from my daughter. She has gone to spend few days of her vacation with her grand parents. Clock seemed to tick slow.. there seemed nothing to be done at home. My younger one was still toddling away to reach everything within his reachable limits in the house, still, all my thoughts were so totally fixed on my daughter who was still on the train traveling with my Dad.

Last night, when my son slept off early by my standards at 9:30P.M, I sat down to watch T.V, hoping that would divert my mind from what I realized was boredom. Four years of beingg too busy and never a moment to sit by myself made me think...I switched off the Television.

Afterall what would life be without all the tantrums and fights and smiles and cranky moods, and cries and laughter and chasing around the house and messing up neatly folded clothes and emptying the laundry bag and singing bits of paper and throwing the smallest bits of paper on the floor and picking up things from the floor and biting and chewing things and getting yelled at every time that happens, and posing for photos and snatching my phone and.... the list is endless... The things that the children can do cant be listed really.

I have been picking up things, cleaning up messes, arranging things amidst all the yells and smiles and cries and fatigue. Now, in just one day, I understood, if it weren't for all these my life would be only boredom... If everything was organized, if everyone behaved, if everything is per plan, if everything is just picture perfect, then what exactly would make life interesting,the way it is...?

I miss my daughter's presence in the house as much as my son who is too small to be on his own. He does create mess of things in his own way but it just isnt the same for him without his sister to help complete the mess the way they do.. and it is just not the same when I dont yell and run behind them saying Watch OUT all the time...

Realized that everything in life is a phase and has a preset time. Whether you enjoy the moment or not, it will just pass off...

Children will grow up faster than I can imagine. Seems to me like yesterday that they were new borns. When my daughter waved me a Bye yesterday afternoon, it seemed that she has grown up suddenly. Silently, I could not take it. Coming to think of it..I waved Bye to my parents too...This is just a trailer of what life may have in store for me as a parent.

So decided never to complain about the many things that I have been complaining about in the past. I love my house the way it is for, it is the kids who matter the most and their joys and not how I want my life to be...

Friday, July 10, 2015

Ramayana - three year old's doubt.

I was trying to tell the Ramayana's nut shell version to my daughter. The attention span is ten min and then its the next story. So as i was doing a marathon run with my story she stopped me at one point.

Amma " you say Sita Devi gave her hair clip to hanuman as identity card ... so what will she do to clip her hair? "

For those of you who are trying to understand where hair clip and identity card comes in vaalmiki ramayana, its the sundara gaantam. Sita Devi gives her choodamani to hanuman to be given to Rama. Choodamani as explained to my daughter was hair clip.

I didn't think what Sita devi would do to tie up her hair if she gave away her clip. Did you?

Friday, July 03, 2015

why so many writeups on women?

I may not be correct when i ask this question.. why so many write-ups on women.? BUT i guess its on a visible increase for those who read a lot online.

Recently, as recent as one month long now, I have started spending a little time on generic reads online mostly on links directed from face book news feeds.

At least over the last six days there are articles on women who have gone through rough times in the hands of men in many different circumstances. Agreed men are strange and can be tough to deal with simply because they are THE MEN, but these overtly descriptive and candid write ups on what all happened in a girl's life and how she came out shining makes me wonder... where is the mistake really..all mis-behaviors as women write seem directed in the lady's favor. Are all men bad?

Definitely not. One of the articles i read spoke about a girl who thought she needed to know IT all before her wedding night. She has tried many boys and now writes about her emotions being played with and calls it inappropriate. In a land where there was (and to some extent still a definition of celibacy) wonder how people can cross limits voluntarily? and then blame all the men. I don't talk about accidents that happen to the young and old girls here.. i only talk about incidents. Movies, Music, Serials, T.V.Shows, Advertisements.... all have women playing roles and talking dialogues that are ruining womanhood in many ways. So if that's OK then dear smart young ladies please stop writing about boyfriends betraying you in anyway.

This will save some Internet bits. Remember your articles get popularity because everyone wants to know what went wrong.... how u came over it can fetch u some warm smiles but the fact remains... why write about it when its about someone who was once important to you?

If you have to talk about some really personal stuff talk about it to people but not online. Remember this is an open platform where people form their own opinions. Now most articles written state - whatever happens don't worry. you are not alone. Comforting as they may be sometimes they also send provoking messages to the formative and adolescent minds. Beware of intrusion in the joyous world of innocence. The message should be " All are nice as long as you know your limits" and NOT...."Men are bad.. do whatever you want just because you feel like it".

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Today vs.Childhood - The best of Childhood in 80's

"10:28 P.M is no earthly time to call up anyone" says my mind for it has been groomed that way since my childhood.

"11:00 P.M is no good time for a bath" says Indian ancient medicine.

"10:30 P.M  is not the right time to eat" says general medicine.

"11:00 P.M is not a good time to read " says the energy level studies.

But coming to think of it, I find peace and quiet to do all these only at these unearthly hours... I am wondering if all the strict disciplines that I grew up with will ever come back?

Some nice principles from my childhood :

1. Never visit anyone or call up anybody after 8:00 P.M unless it is extremely important.
2. Eat on time and sleep early.
3. Do not sleep until the sun rays brighten the room every morning.
4. Sunday is no different from the other days in terms of "early to bed" and "early to rise".
5. Bathe only during the Sun's working hours.
6. Read moderately and well within the routine of the day.

Other good habits that I grew up with include:

1. Always have dinner together with the rest of the family members.
2. Always step out of your room to greet friends and visitors even if you are too busy.
3. Learn to smile and welcome people and never judge them at the first look.
4. After dinner family time is core to good relationships.
5. Minimize TV and news as much as possible.
6. Play regularly and learn to accept a lost game.
7. Study is a habit and not a chore.
8. Offer help wherever possible in the house.

There are many more but this is all I could write as I bolted the doors and checked on all the locks in the house tonight. My day begins with opening every door at say 6:00 A.M and around 11:00 P.M I run a final check before I retire off to my room with my phone to get into the networking world. I just thought I'll stop by this machine and write what I felt like today.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Good Night Kiss

What's in a Good Night Kiss??

I kissed my birthday girl good night after she slept off today with prayers and lots of 'Down the memory lane' thoughts. She  smiled beautifully, although faintly. I am sure she slept off and I still cant stop wondering how she knew the kiss.

Somewhere I have read, Kiss your children good night even if they are asleep. They surely know. Back then, I didn't realize that it could be true, but today I did!!!

Learnt this : Never miss an opportunity to say love, hug close, and shower kisses on your children. They are the only reasons why you stay grounded most of the time amidst life's rides.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

No pains No gains

Searing pain in the lower back moving to the center of the belly, Heavy belly so much so its difficult to walk, Steep ramp making you wonder why ramps are built, Heavy traffic of one cycle making you think why this cyclist has to come in your way...

All these happened when I was in labor one year ago. Labor pains started just about early that morning.... And when I stepped inside the hospital, the next thing I knew was the labor board and then the next timing I knew was mid day when my baby boy arrives in a small bundle....

All that fight in the labor room and all the smiles of the victorious doctors made me smile slightly. The aftermath was tough to cope with and when all was wrong with me, the doctors said, " yes this is what is expected!!! Sleep well..We'll come after three hours to check on you." So saying, I was left alone to SLEEP when after all the struggle, physical and mental, I just couldn't close my eye lids. It was a total blank.. and then all hazy...and then alternating between tears and relief.

On this day, one year later, I cannot help recalling the whole scene plus the feeling that I cannot sometimes cope with the tantrums of the kids and my own self, people around me say the same thing : Yes, this is what is expected!!! Take it easy and take lots of rest and take care of your health.

After a brief time of losing my cool this morning, obviously with my children, I sit back and think that every pain has its joys...... So its good to go through life thinking about or dreaming about the joys that may unfold!!!!

Wednesday, May 06, 2015


  • People buy tables and make sure that nothing is kept on it.
  • People fix AC and make sure they cover themselves with a fleece blanket.
  • People wear dresses and make sure that nothing is covered.
  • People work out at the Gym and make sure that they don't leave any heavy, spicy, fatty, food item in any restaurant or bakery unexplored.
  • People watch Television and make sure that their phone and computer is ON in parallel.
  • People live in a gated community and make sure that they are alone, talk of privacy and definitely don't know their neighbours.
  • People earn money and make sure they don't take time to enjoy their money and spends.
  • People talk so much about life and make sure they don't live it to the fullest because of a hundred thousand reasons that each one may have.
  • People talk so much about integrity and fake things because of identity crisis.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Himalayan Quake - Tsunami - Sinamika

There is a series of tremors, I want to reword as terrors happening in Nepal. Even as I type this post, there are thousands of people suffering, thousands killed, hundreds lending helping hand...

I go into the bathroom and I cant stop wondering what would the victims of the quake do for their basic needs.
I switch on the computer and wonder what would the people in Nepal do without communication lines of any sort?
I cut open the milk packet in the morning and wonder if people who have been victimized by the huge quake wouldn't feel like having any beverage in the morning?
I cant help thinking of pregnant women, just born babies, young children, teenagers with lost dreams, old people, just married folks, and tourists in Nepal.

I have seen the outline of Tsunami from the safety of my concrete house back in 2004 December. I cant help going back ten years in time and compare the wrath of the ocean with the wrath of the earth. It was so devastating and the back to back after shocks of the Nepal quake only is as comparable or may be even more serious than Tsunami.

I see advertisements in between the news cast of the serious quake. They say : And more updates on the Operation Maithri working on the Himalayan Quake after a short commercial break, Stay with us..And the break shows advertisements about a new car or a deodorant or something that is definitely not in any one's mind today as they watch this quake cast. Why commercials in between?? Give a day off for all those luxury product ads. Instead tell us ways to contribute in our own way to the victims.

Also, there is another side of the world...

Humming away A.R. Rahman's Aye Sinamika song. All theaters full house for Maniratnam - A.R Rahman - P.C Sreeram. Did any theatre offer to contribute one shows collection to the victims?

All shopping activities as usual on the roads. Did any shop take any initiative as on date for the victims?

All sports as usual.Did any sports event stop for a day just to think of the plight of people there? There seems to have been a sports team stranded in Nepal as well.

On Facebook there are loads of people enjoying life and posting pictures...Well, I  am happy that there are many praying for the victims and spreading word of compassion and prayer. Good move.

And here I am blogging seated very comfortably in the silence of the night inside my house, safe and sound. I have not done my bit yet.

So.. what stopped because of the quake for the rest of the world? Did anything change for all of us? Did we do something for the victims? If yes, good. If not, its time we did. Please do not wait for the offices where you work to send out a mailer asking for contributions. Just do your bit in your own way. There must be a way to just make sure you care.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

midnight thought

Ideally i should be off to sleep but here i am writing about something that cannot wait until tomorrow morning.

sleep... that is what i want to write about. Not to theorize but dont u think sleep is a gift?

There was a time when nine hours of undisturbed sleep was possible. Then it came down to eight. In college it reduced to seven or six. Work life brought back sleep routine to seven or eight. Marriage changed it to 'number of hours undefined'. Baby one changed it to less than five and baby two changed sleep hours to four hours of disturbed sleep.

Now i value sleep more because sometimes it just seems like nights are for naps as i wake up too many times. Awake mind at night is a devil's workshop. So if the workshop is noisy some nights become sleepless.

To those who take your night sleep time for granted please be aware that if u dont value yr night sleep u will regret later. I just hope to get a seven hour undisturbed night sleep sometime soon. I definitely realize that childhood nine hours night is never going to come back. Do you?

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Suddenly alone almost always

Sounding serious? Actually its about this person, I have been observing from my balcony for a month now. Its been a month in this new house and we have a road facing balcony where my children spend most of their time in the mornings and evenings.

The security guard and his family lives on the ground floor of every apartment in our locality. This person, a security's wife had a close friend Manisha, a security guarder's wife too. They had their own job routines to do and when they are free, they never spent a minute alone. From my balcony I could see that they were very good friends. I used to envy their friendship so much.

One fine morning, Manisha's family decided to move to their home town. Since then I used to see that her friend spending all afternoons alone. It is almost like she is waiting for Manisha and her family to get back. She never mingles with anyone else and is almost lost in a distant memory all the time.

It is really hard to sit stoned in a place for as long as four hours according to me. She looks and feels alone. Her husband spends the free time he has with her talking like her friend would do, but when he is not around, this lady seems lost in thoughts.

Word has it that she and Manisha have been great friends and it is difficult for her to take the separation. Friendship is amazing, more so in situations when there is less money or feasibility for sms,calls and emails. This lady is waiting for her friend. And I have information that Manisha is not coming back to Bangalore. I really hope her friend doesn't know this.

Many times I have missed my friends quite a lot but then coming to think of it now, the Internet has been a savior. The hundred and odd friends on the facebook pages make sure we don't get to miss friends.. and then there is google, whatsapp and many many more..

But wait.. friendship is really deeper than all these... right??

Friends are god sends... they are there for u at the right time and the right place. We have many friends who have been there at least once when we needed them. We may not realize, but that is what friends are.. Even if it is for a hello to lift a low mood on a rainy morning, friends have been there.. If we have not realized, its time we do.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Simple math work

I am just settling down in Bangalore. Among the many processes that a relocation and settling in involves, the most important thing I felt was setting up a bank account. With the welcome kit came half a dozen PIN mailers. I am super scared about these passwords in life, especially the cash related ones.

I just tossed the kit inside my bag after one glance at all of the mailer covers in it. There were hundreds of things to think about.

When my husband did a withdrawal for the first time to check the account initiation, he mentioned the password to me. Immediately I did a minor math with the digits and that is all. Never had a chance to think about it again.

Three weeks later, I am at a hospital counter for paying a bill. The amount was heavier than what I had with me. I took out the card and just then I realized that I have not got the password with me and I am going to be using the card for the first time. Madness, but I still counted on the formula that I had worked out earlier when I heard the password.

It was correct to my relief and I thanked my stars. It is just not nice to say you forgot your password and so you cant pay a bill!!! Thanks to some small practices from childhood.. I usually work out a formula in my mind to remember long number strings.. and it came to my rescue this time and at a very important moment to save my face!!! Hail Mathematics.


With new opportunities also comes to fear and self-doubt. How can we navigate these very strong forces in order to reach our fulfillment...