Saturday, October 17, 2015

Realization - Huge Leap

Realizations are generally blessings when they happen in time. I have been feeling overwhelmed over the last few years with child birth, the after math effect which includes predominantly crying and trying to understand the cries mostly, dealing with toddlers and the nano-second to second mood swings - both theirs and mine.

Yesterday was the first ever time I have been away from my daughter. She has gone to spend few days of her vacation with her grand parents. Clock seemed to tick slow.. there seemed nothing to be done at home. My younger one was still toddling away to reach everything within his reachable limits in the house, still, all my thoughts were so totally fixed on my daughter who was still on the train traveling with my Dad.

Last night, when my son slept off early by my standards at 9:30P.M, I sat down to watch T.V, hoping that would divert my mind from what I realized was boredom. Four years of beingg too busy and never a moment to sit by myself made me think...I switched off the Television.

Afterall what would life be without all the tantrums and fights and smiles and cranky moods, and cries and laughter and chasing around the house and messing up neatly folded clothes and emptying the laundry bag and singing bits of paper and throwing the smallest bits of paper on the floor and picking up things from the floor and biting and chewing things and getting yelled at every time that happens, and posing for photos and snatching my phone and.... the list is endless... The things that the children can do cant be listed really.

I have been picking up things, cleaning up messes, arranging things amidst all the yells and smiles and cries and fatigue. Now, in just one day, I understood, if it weren't for all these my life would be only boredom... If everything was organized, if everyone behaved, if everything is per plan, if everything is just picture perfect, then what exactly would make life interesting,the way it is...?

I miss my daughter's presence in the house as much as my son who is too small to be on his own. He does create mess of things in his own way but it just isnt the same for him without his sister to help complete the mess the way they do.. and it is just not the same when I dont yell and run behind them saying Watch OUT all the time...

Realized that everything in life is a phase and has a preset time. Whether you enjoy the moment or not, it will just pass off...

Children will grow up faster than I can imagine. Seems to me like yesterday that they were new borns. When my daughter waved me a Bye yesterday afternoon, it seemed that she has grown up suddenly. Silently, I could not take it. Coming to think of it..I waved Bye to my parents too...This is just a trailer of what life may have in store for me as a parent.

So decided never to complain about the many things that I have been complaining about in the past. I love my house the way it is for, it is the kids who matter the most and their joys and not how I want my life to be...



1 comment:

Maya said...

Awww Deepa...I hear you! Totally!!! The mess, the chaos, the noise, nothing matters. Spend a day without them, you feel there is nothing else u want to do other than running behind them. But we also need to learn to let go! cant practise that yet myself

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