Friday, October 18, 2019

Fear

Deepa Sriram (Technical Writer)
Deepa Sriram (Technical Writer), Senior Technical Writer (2017-present)
The best way is to define the fear in as many words as is possible in the given situation.
The next would be to ask ‘So what?’… How does it matter to you if your fear comes true?
In situations like work, it will be at the maximum an extended learning time and coping with the new role and such minor issues.
Always one rule has worked for me: If it is coming to me and I take it, it is because I have to learn from it. If I don't take it, then maybe it is correct for me at this point in time and that is why I let the opportunity go.
Fear and self-doubt are only common in every walk of life…
Just believe that it is OK to do anything that won't kill anyone or rob their account or steal their peace of mind. Any action that does not contribute to these three things is worth a try. Fear Nothing and take that first step forward.
Join a new job because they have believed you can do it :)
Wear a different style because you want to.
Dine out in a new restaurant because you liked the ambiance.
Drive in a new route because you want to explore.
Do it because you want to live life, sometimes for yourself.

Thursday, August 08, 2019

LIVE LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS AND IT IS NOT

It was a shock to see this WhatsApp news item that brought the sad demise of one of the successful businessmen. I dismissed the thought with a sigh at the first instance. Next mention was when I heard someone talk about the same loss. This time, I got thinking about it a little. About an hour ago, many hours after the demise of this gentleman, I read a silent news ticker on a television channel on the same sad demise. That’s when I dialled a friend of mine. For a strange reason, I felt disturbed about the death of this businessman, who is not related, or known to me.

It was a suicidal death. Suicides instigate a fit of anger in me all the time, followed by a deep sadness.  I thought it was selfishness at the outset when one person cannot think of anyone else but self when taking such devastating decisions. Try as I might dismiss this news as just another world news, I cannot. I said, 'loneliness and ego could have caused the suicidal thought like most other suicide cases'.

My friend spoke one of his often commendable thoughts... 'What if the person was too good and hence something unfair and intolerable to his goodness of principles made him resort to death?'

I agree... Good one, isn’t it?

The benefit of the doubt of goodness is something everyone on Earth deserves. I suddenly felt a surge of an unknown feeling, I could not place. I was wrong to blame a dead man. I couldn’t be one friend who could alter his thinking the way my friend just did, mine.  I could not save the man, and neither could many others who may have been deeply saddened today by this businessman’s demise. Then I have no right to blame him. Here rests my temper on all the suicidal cases that have infuriated me in the past.

Now, with that settled, let me attempt to put my mind on paper on suicides and mitigations.

While there are a lot of survivors, support groups, psychologists, counsellors, and psychiatrists who are researching and working with this cause, if we get the fundamental correct, we would never think of anything as detrimental as a suicide.

Fundamental: Birth is not your mortal choice. What makes you think Death is??

To all those who commit suicide, committed suicide, contemplating one or are having suicidal instincts or those who are reading because you just got reading this piece:

Do we know what it feels like to carry a baby for 9 months and all the associated aches and pains that follow for a long time thereafter while she raised us? 

The flesh and blood, the height and weight, the everything and nothing that we have today are also the blessings of our parents, whether we want to agree or otherwise. Some may not have really parented, but bringing a baby to this world is difficult and involves two people to conceive, and a few people to deliver off the mother.  

This is a message that to live, you can take help from people because when you came to this world, although you came in alone, there was at least one person to help your mother deliver you off her. If your mother could have handled the pelvic girdle opening apart or a complete deep tear on her body to bring you to the world, what else can be more painful for you??

'My child will make me proud'.. Every mom alive or dead would have said this to herself at least once in her lifetime. What in this world can seem impossible for you than the ordeal she has gone through to see you the way you are on Earth today? Are you doing the right thing to make her proud?

Why do people think of suicide?

Loneliness, depression, Ego, Weakness!

Suicide is the point of give-up because the person has thought through and through about a problem, decided that he can't handle it anymore and ends his life. It is impulsive mostly is what it has led me to believe.

If we choose to just talk to ourselves, believe in our own laws, live life our own way, and in the same way often, chances are we will get bored with ourselves. Monotony kills!. We all need variety and change once in a while.

Universe has a lot of variety in terms of people, places, moods, colours, sceneries, seasons, traits, characters, tastes and looks and much more. Take anything and there is variety. 

Why not - 


  • Talk to a mind other than our own?
  • Meet someone with an open mind and welcome a friendship with a warm heart instead of living an isolated life inside one’s own mind?
  • Laugh a little?
  • Enjoy the little things in life?
  • Read a book with someone else’s opinion for a change?
  • Move your body a bit for the sways in exercise or dance brings a change/shift in the mind too?
  • Believe in the higher good of things and happenings?
  • Let go of mistakes and ego?
  • See what you can change?
  • Live your happy times in the mind again?
  • Live through your sad times with a friend/close one to share?
  • Pray or meditate for five minutes a day?

Open your arms and mind for once to oblivion, because that is what it is.. Oblivion. We do not know tomorrow. But today, are we doing these things?? If yes, chances are you will have someone treat you to a coffee or sweet in your worst moments of devastation that you will enjoy living just for the joy of feeling loved. 

A quiet company, a hand on your shoulder, a tight hug, a phone call, a kind word, a glass of water from someone who cares for you, is all it takes sometimes to see you through the worst times. 

If you think you do not have anyone at the moment who can do this for you, be one for someone. You will know the immense joy you get when you help someone and how it soothes your inner wounds and helps you find a new purpose. 

The sun will rise again in the East tomorrow morning, for sure, and bring with it another chance to: 
  • change what you can.
  • be what you are purposed to be. 
  • love what you are gifted with. 
  • find a friend.

Remember, if we end our lives, we miss another chance to know what we could have been when Sun comes up, with every passing day. 

Challenges are chances to grow in Life > Life is Good!> Good is ‘Relative’> It has a superlative!!! > Wait for the best, although it can be hard!

[Interpretation: Challenges > Opportunities > Good Life > Wait > Best is yet to come! So, live to see it happen, why to die a suicidal death? ]

If after all this reading, whether you are convinced, I recommend you to do one of these:
  • Call a friend from school/college and talk.
  • Meet a spiritual guide.
  • Visit a place of worship.
  • Write a journal and speak to a friend every day.
  • Follow a hobby that makes you calm and liberated.
  • Seek help from best online therapy sites.
But definitely, LIVE LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS AND IT IS NOT. 

Thursday, July 04, 2019

Habit is second nature! Mind your habits



The adage is true and while I am a strong advocate of nurturing good habits, I also suddenly notice that some habits can develop into a little more than nature - Obsession which causes pain to self and the surrounding.

Trait, Character, Nature are terms that have very thin line difference as I see. The trait is something that is inherent but gained from one parent. Character is something that you consciously or unconsciously build. Nature is what you came with. 

These can be changed/restricted/improved/practiced/avoided with some conscious efforts. Whether we want to do it, is based on the individual’s mindset.

With this understanding, if ‘Habit is second nature’, it takes some effort to ensure that we have the right habits because it is linked with our nature.

When we say ‘right habit’, it is always circumstantial. While the right habit is to remove your shoes and go inside a home, in a cold country, if you walk barefoot in a non-carpeted home, you may end up getting aches and pains all over, or worse conditions of chills. The habit doesn’t work well in this situation. This must go!

All suggested practises that became habits always apply for a situation only. However, the common sense fails almost always, and we cannot get over the habits.  ‘Old habits die hard’ is so true. 

While we follow a habit and believe it is the best way, we always remember that it works for us this way in this situation. When the external parameter changes, we must be prepared to accommodate a newer practice/habit/nature.

I do not mean to say keep changing colours of your nature like a chameleon is gifted to, but being very adamant in one’s stand just because it is a habit that cannot be compromised on, is not doing any good too.

If you have the habit of waking up at 10:00 am every day during the holiday, would you continue to do that if you have regular work catch-up sessions at 10:00 am?

You won’t. If you do that, then it says, ‘You don’t care anymore about the meetings, the agenda, or the person. Make a conscious decision on what makes you skip the meeting. If it is one of these, then resolve it. If it is your late morning habit, then change it.

While this is only one simple example, a score of these seemingly non-affecting habits can be a total put off on your time, personality, health or peace of mind, sometimes of yours alone. As long as something affects/effects only your life, it is a call that you can take. To change is always a self-initiative. We can never force change.

And sometimes, it can disturb everyone around you, as the habit moves from being the nature to being an obsession. Now, this is the reason we are even discussing the habit aspect. If something that we do (obsessively) as it is in our ‘nature’, and if it hampers the rest of the surrounding clan, then it calls for a change, almost non-negotiable.

Someone I know, got the skin of her palm damaged permanently with her obsession over washing hands. She has been asked to abstain from using any kind of washing soaps on her palm for a lifetime!. While medical knowledge (although minimal) makes it clear that the root cause can also be some other issue, the doctors have given a sizable credit to the obsessive habit of washing hands with soap. She is 88 years of age now and wears special hand gloves for doing things which may make her touch soap and water. To satisfy her paranoia of germs and obsessive-compulsive disorder of clean hands, the doctor has advised gloves for kitchen use and gloves for general use. The palms are to be kept dry. 

Can you imagine not washing hands with soap at all?? I cannot, but since this is a real incident which I know of, I am convinced that obsessions are detrimental to well-being.

Now that we are convinced about changing the habits which have grown past our nature levels into the obsession levels, let’s mindfully look at ways to change them:
  1. Note down your obsessive practice every time you do it/want to do it. Count the number of times you give in to it every day.
  2. Repeat the above step for 5 days.
You notice that as you note this down, the obsessive habit comes down drastically in five days with a simple step of maintaining a count of the number of times you wanted to do it. Subconsciously, we all want to be good to our inner sense of ‘Being’. A simple step such as this journal would be enough to work on any habit, without doing much change in the ‘Thinking’ for the first five days.

At the next level, you must take each of the instances and explain why you said/did what you said? Your audience is self. Explain your act/word thoroughly to yourself. If you can explain to yourself, then if you are the balanced individual you will spot the mistake or trigger beforehand.

At the third level, you can stay away from the thing/people that make the habit surface often. After a certain period, it will fade away.

With all these, if you cannot change a habit, then counselling services such as 

You definitely need to mind your habits starting today!!!! Find the ones that need to Go!!! Keep the ones that you must!!! This could also be another way of ‘Minding’ your own business.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Splash on Interesting..



  • What’s interesting to you today, may not be as interesting tomorrow.
  • Interesting is only true as long as the curiosity exists.
  • Interesting is a possibility, if you are able to dock your priorities for a short while in between.
  • Withdrawing from the real world gives interesting turn of thoughts on any given challenge that is working you up.
  • Interesting is the mind, that is as powerful too, to decide what is interesting.
  • In unsettling matters of head and heart, it is interesting to note that often there is no mind.
  • Interesting is largely your opinion.
  • Interesting is a mere adjective in most scenarios.
  • Interesting is a complement of Boring to remind us that there is a crest and trough in the sine curve of the ECG which shows we are alive. If interesting interests you Boring should also naturally interest you.
  • That we lose interest is only an indicator that we are done with doing something in a certain way, or done with doing something altogether or want to explore doing something else. No force except that initiated from reasons of compulsion, commitment, promise or trust can rekindle interest in the same thing over and over again.
  • Interesting facts are stated to be so because we are not aware.
  • All unknowns are interesting until you get to know them really.
  • All interesting things that are unknown are still plenty in nature, waiting to be invested interest in.
  • So what are we doing saying I am not interested?? If you are not interested, find something that interests you. 
  • Until the last breath there is definitely something to do, something to yearn for, something to hope for, something to invest interest in and something to smile about. Isn't this fact interesting??

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Seller Platforms - E-commerce and Vdezi

Today, hardly anyone needs to step out of the house, except for a walk to take in the fresh air. I mean, everything except air to breathe seems to be available online. Retail industry in close thought-partnership with e-commerce makes it easy and competitive for us, everyday users.

I love to go to the shop in person and shop because it makes me feel good. Little did I believe that online shopping can give me a good experience until I had no choice the other day, apart from logging in to Flipkart and buy a dress for myself.

With that convenience came a sigh of relief and also laziness these days, that when I think shopping, I think Flipkart…

This lasted until I met with someone who said that all his books are always from Amazon and he hasn’t visited a bookshop in a long time… Which almost stopped me mid-sentence. What??!!! Not visiting a bookshop?? This person has wasted his years I thought until I had to buy a book for an immediate requirement from Amazon.

While these two unexpected experiences (Unexpected because I didn’t think I will do this ever, for I love to visit bookshops and textile showrooms more than I can explain) were still running on my head, I came to know that there is a platform of e-commerce platforms, vdezi.com.

Their site has scores of articles on what they offer, but all I can say is if you worry about which market place to sell your merchandise on, if you have been switching windows to compare and contrast prices/saleability/reachability/analytics between marketplaces, then Vdezi is definitely worth a try. It gives you a choice of online platforms and a plethora of features that help you make the right choice of hosting your products on the right commerce platform/s. Your overall visibility into the e-commerce marketplaces instantly improves your sales. 

You can sell your products to the world from this one cross-border seller platform and tell the world what you have on sale.
  • You are thinking of growing your business.
  • You are thinking of starting an online merchandising business.
  • You are a little known, yet successful seller.
  • You are a popular seller.
  • You have a business idea.
Vdezi serves all the above seller personas with Artificial Intelligence engineered into the platform and has proven to be very successful in building the confidence of small and medium scale businesses. It takes quite a lot to represent a thoughtful, conducive, competitive and realistic view of the world e-commerce market, all on one platform, so you can buy and sell goods the vdezi way, in the ever-growing Business to Business markets!. 

With this, as a buyer, I am excited to see what’s the next big step in the e-commerce space, possibly Vdezi itself could have some surprises!!

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Interview with a friend who finishes seven years in an organization

For those of who you have known my posts, you would have noticed that I keep posting interviews with some people on and off. It just happens in my mind and the next thing I type off questions or if they are reachable, I walk over to talk to them.

Today, when a friend of mine in office finished seven years, I asked if he can give me some answers to some really easy questions which can help the juniors get to where he is : Seven successful years of exemplary service with an organization.

Here are my questions and his answers:

Recall something from your first working day in this company other than the regular new induction formalities:

From my 1st day here, as I got a tour of the building, I was excited to see how there was no hierarchy and even the founders had the same cubicle as mine.

Say one of two traits of yourself that you think brought you where you are:
From my initial work days, I remember how I was awed by people around me. It looked like I need to challenge myself and improve myself tremendously to be able to gain respect from my peers. That trait I think, has helped me reach where I am today. I still like to keep myself occupied with technical challenges and keep improving. 

What is the best part of your journey so far in this organization?
Best part of the journey has been the value I feel I have been able to create for the organization and for its consumers in India. So, that gives a lot of satisfaction. 

If you were to give out a single piece of advice for someone who wants to be you, what would that be?
Advice would be to not get satisfied with what u have done. Strive to learn more, think more and take ownership. Taking a wrong step is not a problem, but not taking is. 

What is your professional goal?
I am not sure of what my professional goals are. I have always been confused about that. I live in the moment and I can answer what i will be doing in the next 6 months / a year and so on/ so forth. Beyond that, I have stopped having goals in life. 

At the end of reading, here's what I have to say to the juniors who want to learn from this gentleman:

1. Know your office ways.
2. Understand your own values.
3. Identify your opportunities.
4. Take the first step.
5. Learn along the way.

Happy Work life!

Thanks friend, for the lovely answers that got me this post. Many more happy years of successful association with the work you do, and do so well!

In your circular world...

News, Inventions, Discoveries, Art, History, Findings, Economics are all the results of thoughts, ideas, creativity, beauty, actions, dreams, hopes, responses, reactions and much more that originate in the minds of people. 

The world is full of these!  Where do these come from??

We all have a little of all these gifts within ourselves. A part of these we radiate out to the little community/neighbourhood we are in at any point in time - Road, Office, School, Shop and wherever else we go to each day, that goes back to the World, making it as wonderful as it is. 

It is like an energy ecosystem that completes in a cycle, a basketball that bounces up on every treble, or an echo atop a mountain that reverberates back to us what we send out. What goes around, comes around to complete the circle. 

If we were to imagine ourselves at the centre point of a circle, with our dreams, hopes, aspirations, reactions, responses, purpose, emotions (and many more psycho-social-emotional-physical-spiritual aspects) occupying the circumference, then we realize that anything and everything we do in life will be towards satisfying one of these aspects at any point in time.

While we are busy doing this, we also have the potential to step out of our own circle once in a while (maybe every day) and wonder how best to use what we make/have/are, for enabling another person’s circumferential needs within our community/reach/circle.

This way, we ensure that there are many happy circles around us radiating as much happiness, making our closer network a happy ‘echo’ system. Many such happy echoes will ensure bountiful joys and happiness to all those who are within reach - physically and mentally too.

To radiate joy and cheer, we must be joyful from the inside too. While there are a lot of things that bring joys, the primary contributor is the Joy of Giving. Give a little of what you have to the world - thoughts, ideas, creativity, beauty, actions, dreams, hopes, responses, reactions - to make it a better place.

Now, that brings us to this question: What bits of joy we can give out to the world if we are ourselves in immense pain and sorrow? We can give out only what we have within us. So if we radiate sorrow, it comes back to us manifold. 

There are countless ways to ease the sorrow and pain in this world - Prayers, Friends, Counsellors - being the primary source of help. Ridiculous as it might seem, talking about what is bothering you, might be the first step towards removing the rough patch and getting yourself ready for greener pastures. 
The 'whom-to-talk-to' question these days is resolved in a big way by some of the counselling services available in easy reach. 

Speak out, Ease pains, Give joys, Spread happiness, and Radiate peace for a meaningful existence!

Fear

With new opportunities also comes to fear and self-doubt. How can we navigate these very strong forces in order to reach our fulfillment...