Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Interview with a friend who finishes seven years in an organization

For those of who you have known my posts, you would have noticed that I keep posting interviews with some people on and off. It just happens in my mind and the next thing I type off questions or if they are reachable, I walk over to talk to them.

Today, when a friend of mine in office finished seven years, I asked if he can give me some answers to some really easy questions which can help the juniors get to where he is : Seven successful years of exemplary service with an organization.

Here are my questions and his answers:

Recall something from your first working day in this company other than the regular new induction formalities:

From my 1st day here, as I got a tour of the building, I was excited to see how there was no hierarchy and even the founders had the same cubicle as mine.

Say one of two traits of yourself that you think brought you where you are:
From my initial work days, I remember how I was awed by people around me. It looked like I need to challenge myself and improve myself tremendously to be able to gain respect from my peers. That trait I think, has helped me reach where I am today. I still like to keep myself occupied with technical challenges and keep improving. 

What is the best part of your journey so far in this organization?
Best part of the journey has been the value I feel I have been able to create for the organization and for its consumers in India. So, that gives a lot of satisfaction. 

If you were to give out a single piece of advice for someone who wants to be you, what would that be?
Advice would be to not get satisfied with what u have done. Strive to learn more, think more and take ownership. Taking a wrong step is not a problem, but not taking is. 

What is your professional goal?
I am not sure of what my professional goals are. I have always been confused about that. I live in the moment and I can answer what i will be doing in the next 6 months / a year and so on/ so forth. Beyond that, I have stopped having goals in life. 

At the end of reading, here's what I have to say to the juniors who want to learn from this gentleman:

1. Know your office ways.
2. Understand your own values.
3. Identify your opportunities.
4. Take the first step.
5. Learn along the way.

Happy Work life!

Thanks friend, for the lovely answers that got me this post. Many more happy years of successful association with the work you do, and do so well!

In your circular world...

News, Inventions, Discoveries, Art, History, Findings, Economics are all the results of thoughts, ideas, creativity, beauty, actions, dreams, hopes, responses, reactions and much more that originate in the minds of people. 

The world is full of these!  Where do these come from??

We all have a little of all these gifts within ourselves. A part of these we radiate out to the little community/neighbourhood we are in at any point in time - Road, Office, School, Shop and wherever else we go to each day, that goes back to the World, making it as wonderful as it is. 

It is like an energy ecosystem that completes in a cycle, a basketball that bounces up on every treble, or an echo atop a mountain that reverberates back to us what we send out. What goes around, comes around to complete the circle. 

If we were to imagine ourselves at the centre point of a circle, with our dreams, hopes, aspirations, reactions, responses, purpose, emotions (and many more psycho-social-emotional-physical-spiritual aspects) occupying the circumference, then we realize that anything and everything we do in life will be towards satisfying one of these aspects at any point in time.

While we are busy doing this, we also have the potential to step out of our own circle once in a while (maybe every day) and wonder how best to use what we make/have/are, for enabling another person’s circumferential needs within our community/reach/circle.

This way, we ensure that there are many happy circles around us radiating as much happiness, making our closer network a happy ‘echo’ system. Many such happy echoes will ensure bountiful joys and happiness to all those who are within reach - physically and mentally too.

To radiate joy and cheer, we must be joyful from the inside too. While there are a lot of things that bring joys, the primary contributor is the Joy of Giving. Give a little of what you have to the world - thoughts, ideas, creativity, beauty, actions, dreams, hopes, responses, reactions - to make it a better place.

Now, that brings us to this question: What bits of joy we can give out to the world if we are ourselves in immense pain and sorrow? We can give out only what we have within us. So if we radiate sorrow, it comes back to us manifold. 

There are countless ways to ease the sorrow and pain in this world - Prayers, Friends, Counsellors - being the primary source of help. Ridiculous as it might seem, talking about what is bothering you, might be the first step towards removing the rough patch and getting yourself ready for greener pastures. 
The 'whom-to-talk-to' question these days is resolved in a big way by some of the counselling services available in easy reach. 

Speak out, Ease pains, Give joys, Spread happiness, and Radiate peace for a meaningful existence!

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Sadness x Happiness

Antonym of the word happy is sad. Goes to say that the word sad is just a word. No more, no less. We often complicate life with these oldest language construct Antonym.
  • Graphs taught us positive and negative as much as Chemistry that taught us cations and anions.
  • Astronomy has Night and Day as opposites while Science brought in Full x Empty, Fast x Slow. 

Kinder garden text book has these:
  • Tall x Short
  • Good x Bad
  • Big x Small
  • Heavy x Light
  • Beautiful x Ugly
  • Black x White

While we fully well and clearly see that these are just words, we often give a heavy weight to one side of the cross mark. The cross mark x in writing an antonym is in itself a mere indicator that we are seeing polar ends of any given idea. Park the thought right there.

Now lets ask ourselves:
  • Who said that only the left hand side is ‘good’ and the right is ‘bad’??
  • Is your left eye precious to you than the right eye?? Same with all the parts of your body. We want left and right to be in sync and harmony for a balance right??

If that is clear, then why are we giving so much weight to one side of the antonym equation alone??
  • Why do we give so much weight to the ‘not-so-happy’ moments or sad moments?? 
  • Why are we wanting only to be ‘happy’ and are not liking the other polarity ‘sad’?? 
  • Why do we not realise that being in one of the modes for a longer time can affect us disruptively?? 
  • Why do we have to be happy all the time?? 

After all happiness and sadness are what we have named our inner feeling to be! 

If we were to graphically understand, Happiness should be in blips to give you the sense of being alive( Check the blips in your ECG)  If it is a flat line of all happiness all the time, life becomes stagnant and eventually distasteful too (A flat line in ECG means lifeless). 

Sadness happens to understand Happiness. That said, dealing with a sad feeling is important to realise happiness when it happens. It is said, Sadness when shared divides to feel lesser. Eventually you will be ready to receive happiness too. 

Never try to deal your sorrows or sadness alone. Find a friend to talk to or seek help.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

URI - The Surgical Strike

I went to watch the movie URI in a theatre after a long time, with the little pre-cursor that the site Bookmyshow offered and the reviews were very good too. 

Congratulations to the awesome movie crew for making the movie as grand a success as it is. Phenomenal try and great emotions displayed very well. 

Check out any weblink for the awesome star casting, music, direction, lyricist, cinematography and everything else that you think is important to know before reading my views.

With due respect to the Nation’s defense and salute to the Indian Flag and all respect to the Army men who safeguard our Motherland’s frontiers and the political, social, religious beliefs of the land, I present my opinion here. 

Now, this post is only about my personal roller coaster thoughts upon watching the movie and is not definitely influenced by anything except my inner self. Any resemblance to yours is probable, and definitely, this post is not intended to hurt or disagree with anyone with a different viewpoint. 

I am not into newspapers or news channel. So, when someone mentioned URI, I thought it was a Tamil movie where the word URI goes to mean the hanging pot holding the butter in Brindavan, where Little Krishna (Incarnation of Lord Vishnu, Hinduism, India) is said to have grown up.

The word Surgical Strike did not ring any bell. Bells were pleasant and surgeries clearly meant, cuts, wounds, and blood in my mind.

I do agree that violence sometimes can be fought with violence only, especially when we are dealing with people who cannot, for the life of them, be pinned down to any reasonable understanding of non-violence. That is why the whole surgical strike was planned and executed in return for the atrocious killing that happened in URI in the year 2015-2016 time frame. 

Generally, I stay away from violent movies and science fiction books as it does not tally with my inherent beliefs that I chanced to develop as a child.
  • Ahimsa eventually wins.
  • Love is still alive on Earth.
  • What you do is important than what others do to you.

That said, taking revenge in the same way that the atrocity was meted out does not tally with my beliefs.

I am still thinking what if the surgical strike had not happened? Is there any other way it could have been handled? 

All are human beings behaving inhuman and insane. I also agree that if I had an Army man in my family, I would probably have inherited some of the fighting spirits and fighting for justice in the ‘War’ way. I agree that the wife of the soldier and the little daughter whose tears were the only incentive for the Army man in the family to go ahead and participate in the Surgical strike. It is a nicely woven story thread there. The two artists did the emotions so well that it was hard to believe it is a movie. 

Applause to the director for the little scenes here and there to show the close-knit family, the natural flow of love, and the devastating death news that leaves a scar, much to the shock of the audience too. 

Few captures that linger on in my mind:
  • The soldier lets go of the adolescent boy at the terrorist hideout. He did not kill the child.
  • The soldier's eyes did shed a tear or two. Under the strict-looking uniforms, they are all human anyway.
  • It was with a heavy heart that the ministry decides to go on the surgical strike. It was not inherent in our blood to kill as much as to defend. Liked the portrayal of emotions there.
  • Women have been treated with respect and care in this movie.
  • Love is subtly yet distinctly displayed in the eyes of the actors. Beautiful and silent.
  • Whatever it is, whoever you are, you cannot feel alienated in your mom’s presence.
  • Army man’s daughters get courage from some of the real-life happenings that make them what they are. Scars can be deep, yet must be used to fullest potential.
  • Bottom line - The undercurrent of life is emotions - silent or loud, said or unsaid, expressed or contained, forced or curtailed. When you stop emoting, is I guess, when you are most likely not alive on Earth!
  • However, intelligent and successful you are, you come with a time tag on you. The soldier executed his operation successfully, yet got killed by an undetected bomb placed in a very unassuming way. 
  • Never fall for success, or fail to get up because of failure. As long as you get to keep one step forward towards anything you believe in doing, just go ahead. You won’t go farther than your time tag allows you to.
Well done, and trust me, I could feel how hard it was to be one of the soldiers. Wonder how many soldiers’ family go through such things even as we read this post!.

It is saddening. Pride, Nation, and all that is fine, but the wife, the daughter, the mom and the friends and relatives to whom the man must have meant the world, still fight the grief. 

Still, taking five steps backward, there must be someone to do every job in this world right?? And why some jobs involve so much of risk where the soldier has to work with fanatics and sadists in the name of terrorists?  What an unexplained law of karma!

Friday, February 08, 2019

Just for a change…

It is important to change things, pattern, order, mood, routine, clothes, food… Monotone can hit us in a very, very subtle way. Multiple subtle hits can cause a ridge of damage to our lives and the surrounding lives.

If you have 
  • been in the same place for a long time
  • worn the same/similar colored clothes
  • have met the same people for years now
  • have kept things exactly at the same place every single day over the last few years
  • been to the same places regularly
  • been following the same TV programme
  • been doing the same exercise in the same order for the same number of minutes every day
  • been eating the same items in your breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner times
  • been sleeping and waking up on time, no matter how busy the rest of the household/community is on an occasion
  • been reading the same author
  • been walking/riding/driving on the same road to and from somewhere
  • then you are on the way to what I call Monotone distress’
Always, everyone cannot get a change in all these actions/things/people/places for multiple reasons, the most important one being, ‘discomfort’ that any change can cause to us. So given it is hard to get uncomfortable for most of us, especially when we do not see the need to, we must know that this choice of living in a routine lifestyle impacts the surrounding people monstrously and it slumps our mood in the subconscious level to an all-time low!

How does it affect us?
  • Constant irritation about things, people, and news around you.
  • Feeling that everything that is being spoken has something to do with you.
  • Seeing the negative all the time in any sentence.
  • Unable to joke or laugh at all.
  • Feeling cornered and helpless.
  • Obsessed with doing something in the same way.
  • Feeling that there is nothing left to be happy about.
  • Disinterested in anything that does not concern your well being.
  • Feeling that everyone is targeting you.
  • Feeling that people should drop everything and attend to your silently screaming and openly cranky mind.
Monotone Distress is what this sums up to! And this is definitely a high priority correction that you need to make in your life. Earlier, the better for you and those in your everyday world!

Why? How does it affect others?
  • Your irritation gets to them and develops a distaste for your company.
  • Your negativity affects them.
  • Your low mood pulls down the entire household.
  • They see your unexpressed need for attention as withdrawal or not taking part; hence you are in silos even when you are among people.
  • They will see your inability to take a joke as you being a spoilsport.
Monotone distress is also a reason for all of these although there may be many other reasons causing these problems.

Life gets boring because sometimes it is easy to tire ourselves out with our responsibility, feelings, emotions, commitments, people, work, health, money, food, logistics, we all reach a point when we are not interested in anything beyond just peaceful sleep. If you double-check your day’s and life’s choices, you will see one or more monotone distress factors. 

Believe me, a little change helps in a big way. 

For instance, you could
  • Eat fruits for breakfast one morning if you always used to eat cornflakes. 
  • Pick a different route to work one day. 
  • Wake up at 7 am instead of 10 am one day and see how it works or doesn’t work for you.
  • Listen to a different genre of music instead of the usual. 
  • Buy a new outfit in a color that rarely lives in your wardrobe. 
  • Go to a park and strike a conversation with someone sitting next to you. 
  • Invite neighbor home for a coffee one Saturday evening. 
  • Take part in social events just to see new faces and add color to your routine days. 
  • Add a different spice to the same Dal that you are cooking. 
  • Visit an old friend or call a friend whose voice is a welcome change from all the calls you receive from people in your day-to-day life.
Try to make a subtle change here and there and I promise you will thank yourself for the change you did :)

Why should you make some changes?

The Universe is full of different and changing parameters. Every constant that teams up with a variable in an equation, makes a significant value. That’s true of the Math and Physics which make up all the conclusive theories of Universal Science.

You and I have different looks, thoughts, and lives.  

Evolution is about change. 

Civilization is about Change. 

With all the changes, variables and differences, we live in an evolving universe… if we accept this truth and give in to some subtle, doable, changes in our day-to-day lives, I guess we will see more beauty in our world and suddenly life will seem interesting. 

So, let’s not forget to keep changing things we can, to be the different person we wish to see in ourselves. 

If we cannot change many things about us and around us, we could do the same things differently.

If you said a silent 'yes' to all of these and still find it hard to make the change or save yourself from the scars of Monotone distress, you can surely find help online with some of the experienced psychologists who help tone people's minds to betterment.

Friday, January 11, 2019

What does a birthday mean to you?

Happy Birthday!

Not the first time, I have felt like asking this question to someone: What does a birthday mean to you?

As kids, we were all very excited about birthdays. As time and tide pass by increasing the wear and tear on our bodies and life’s routines with its shocks and surprises, somewhere we lose the thrill of celebrating Birthdays. Of late, I have been observing this in many people over the physical age of 35.

In my office today, we had a cake cutting gathering for one of our seniors’ birthday - Senior in terms of age and designation too. People like and respect him for his down-to-earth nature, approachability, elegance, and friendly aura. 

After the very thoughtfully done cake was gently cut (leaving me astonished for the nth time as to why bakers put such a lot of effort on their cake art that quickly goes into the grind of the teeth. I mean, the cakes are so beautiful to be cut, that I always tell my baker friend to be baking cakes with general icing than the themed ones that is a work of art that I don't want to eat at all!!!!) I walked up to the hero of the day, the well-respected gentleman and asked the most important question:

What does Birthday mean to you?

I saw a quick thought-flash in his eyes and then he replied: “I got a year older”. That translates to ‘A year wiser’ for me always, so I added that in.

"I realized I need to make time for enjoying life’s gifts". 

When asked what does he plan to do this year to enjoy, he said, he was going for a long trip with his family. This year he also plans to spend a lot of quality time with his people at home and friends at work. 

Now, that’s like a good birthday thought process. 

I left the hall wishing that all of this gentleman’s dreams and hopes come true with all of God’s grace of health and wealth on him. 


No matter how many years old we turn on our birthday, it is:
  • another year to be thankful for
  • another hope to invest belief in
  • another opportunity to win a heart
  • another chance to make a difference in someone’s life
  • another attempt to confidently take on life for what it is and what it can be!! 

It’s a hap hap happy birthday! Many happy returns of the day!

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Evolution teaches Stress Therapy!

Evolution in its base sense translates to Continuous Improvement Process - How we improved from where we were in the age-old past to where we are in the present day.

We all as human beings, community, group, society, country, and the world continuously grow and improve. 

Growth is part of being. Continuous improvement is part of us!!

We have evolved (grown and improved) from the state of total innocence in the undated past to the state of information overload today.

One of the ‘like-it-or-not’ aspects of present-day information overload or its glorified synonym ‘exposure’, is the bringing up of a gamut of adjectives into our otherwise calm, simple, and happy minds. The phrases such as ‘successful’ growth, ‘significant’ improvement, and 'remarkable’ achievement are all conceived my man in his own balance scale, benchmarked by a known achievement of another man. 

With these adjectives, most people today aim to meet or exceed the mark made by another person in work and home fronts. The improvement aspect somewhere dies and competition sets in.  

This is by far the main cause of most problems in the minds of people, both young and old. Where do I stand in comparison with someone? What do I have to do to get to where the other person is?

There are grades, marks in schools that rank the best performing student. Then there comes the collegiate education where again grades and scores matter. Then comes the job scene where ranking plays a role and performance appraisal is everything. 

These practices get ingrained into human brains and it forgets that man by nature is meant to:
  • Continuously improve upon his own previous records 
  • Not stress over becoming the best in a lot aspiring or achieving another person’s feat
What does this stress do to us? 

We vibrate in stress like a rubber band does when stretched to its maximum. With all the vibrations:
  • It creates a multitude of emotions that make the mind believe becoming someone ‘like’ another is the KEY aspect of life.
  • It makes the body and mind work towards getting to that level. 
  • It gives a sense of achievement when we reach a goal, but also makes our mind refuse to accept anything less than the best. 
  • It also makes us want more, do more, work more, and expect more.. and there is no end to the MORE that we want and continue to want in life. 
  • It eventually attracts more stress which translates to a dysfunctional body and practically useless mind chords. 
  • It also creates a community of stretched rubber bands.

Stress brings us to a juncture where we do not know which thought will trigger what emotion in whom and lead to a disastrous mind state where we all are unhappy within, always!! What we understand as ‘happiness’ does not keep us happy - Money, Fame, Name, People, Emotions - Name anything and it does not make us feel thrilled. 

Everything seems flawed in a stressed mind.

What to do now?

Improve upon your own Yesterday! is the best therapy we must practice in keeping stress at bay!

That we have improved from our own yesterday’s record gives us joy untold, if we know how not to compare ourselves with our seemingly similar counterpart.

I say seemingly similar because no two people bring the SAME temperament, goals, purposes, experience, character, attitude, beliefs, situations, and values to this world. Similarities between two people is a possibility but never an exact match. If we get this correct, then we will stop comparing ourselves with another person on Earth. 

We have to keep up our own improvement targets on. What is yours will find its way to you when it should if you can just do your bit diligently and with the best of intentions! 

Essentially, if we are better by 0.1 percent from our yesterday’s records in anything - studies, work, habit, character, practice, sport, attitude, or temper, we are going strong and steady. Going by the meaning of evolution and its truth, we grow and improve! 

According to the ancient epics of India, there are three things a man should never wish/aim for:
  • Another man’s money
  • Another man’s land
  • Another man’s lady
I extend them as: 

Never wish/aim for:
  • Another man’s achievement 
  • Another man’s reward
  • Another man’s success 
None of us here needs to be striving for lives led by other people - some comparable and some others incomparable - if we know that we are walking life at our own pace and are here for different purposes. ‘Slow and Steady wins the race’ is a moral from the Kinder Garden story ‘The Hare and the Tortoise!’ - Wonder why we all forgot over the years?!?

Do not be afraid to live your life just ‘like’ yourself!!!

Is this article convincing enough to work towards de-stressing yourself? Do you think you have tried everything in your capability to get yourself out of the stress you are in with no gain?

Always remember that there are therapists who can connect with you online, get down to the root of your problem and help you gently out of your situation. 

Go on and click here to seek help!!! 

You are continuously improving even as you read this post. It is your LIFE and only yours to Live, Love, and Trust! 

Interview with a friend who finishes seven years in an organization

For those of who you have known my posts, you would have noticed that I keep posting interviews with some people on and off. It just happen...