Thursday, April 28, 2016

Siddhartha Gautama's wife

On one of the Facebook posts someone had shared a story about Siddhartha Gautama who later shined as Gautama Buddha and presently is being worshiped as Lord Gautama Buddha.

The life and story of Gautama Buddha like many other great people's life is for us to learn from. There is no right and wrong in all the stories. All stories, real-life incidents, gossips etc., are always opined for or against by many . This post is just a response that I wanted to share based on a small snippet in Siddhartha's life.

It is said that "Siddhartha left his home at the middle of night, the night when his wife gave birth to their son". Years later, when they met again, his wife had no complaints about it. She had lived all her life alone for the son and did all her duties right. Gautama became popular and his wife did not, for she did what was asked of her and Buddha did what his calling to the earth was!!!

It was just this that makes me write this post.

The fact that a woman is courageous does.not mean she doesn't need emotional support. Unfortunately this world has misunderstood confidence, independence, and courage - the three qualities hidden in every woman u see but those will need love of her man to feel complete... Even if its the Good Lord Buddha, mistakes like walking away from someone who believed in you, cannot be justified. Destiny could be the masking word. 

I know the Gita has a different explanation for this and probably Lord Gautama's wife had the best emotional quotient like all Great Folk's family members, but I am just a common woman who writes just what I think I must!! 

Readers, this is definitely not meant to offend believers. I believe in Buddha's ideology too.

Monday, April 25, 2016

I don't know you but I am someone just like you

Its been an interesting morning today. I visited Sri Sathya Sai Hospital, Whitefield, Bangalore. I was an attendant to my ailing relative. Little did I know when I set out from home this morning, that today is going to be a very important milestone in my journey of life. All the spiritual meetings and books keep telling that every day of life is one step ahead in the Journey of life that actually is very short. This has been too philosophical to me until today.

I asked the person at the security desk about the procedure to go for a consultation in the hospital. They gave me a quick procedure which I followed. At every desk, I saw old men and women or middle-aged ladies who were volunteers working through the day at the hospital, doing whatever little they can for the community, which is for "People they don't even know".

I looked at the token given to me. It read 563. I took it to the reception desk and they directed me to another calm lady seated at the corner of the hall. I saw many patients waiting for the consultation. I concluded in my mind that today, nothing is going to work unless we decide to sit all day at the Medical College Hospital. But it turned out that the people there are so accommodating that we were seen almost immediately as the medical condition demanded. There was a lady who distributed butter milk to all the people waiting to see the doctor. Good idea on a summer morning. Bangalore Summer has never been this hot and humid ever, they say! Distributing butter milk to " People they don't even know".

Next, the doctor. Not every day you come across a 30 something guy who can keep such a calm, humble, and composed manner around him. There is a psychology about liking your doctor first before you start explaining your issue to him. I liked this person's quiet and directed attention. I put about a hundred sheets of reports, films and prescriptions in the name of medical reports in front of him. I did have so many! He quietly asked for exactly what he wanted and we both sorted the reports per the questions he had in mind. We correlated the queries with the reports and he answered me super efficiently. Then he called the patient in, listened to her as attentively as he did to my talk and then carefully wrote out the report per the institute norms. We took about twenty odd minutes inside the consultation room. He had seen the 70th patient for the day. He steps out and asks the lady outside " Aunty, Do you think I can take a ten minute break before the next patient comes in or is there anyone with an unmanageable difficulty??". I looked up at him once, because he stood very tall in my mind that minute.. Is he a common man or did he land from some strange land of nicety?

We met some really nice and helpful people every where - at the lobby, at the gate, at the reception, at the physiotheraphy counter, on the way inside the campus... It made me wonder if I suddenly landed in a different world - a world where people never yelled, a world where there was no cash transaction, a world where everyone greets everyone, a world where people lend a helping hand without passing on the responsibility, a world where people followed up on your progress without being bossed by a superior, a world where people were perfect in their duty without being ruled visibly by anyone, a world where people served each other without any salary!!!!!

It was just so unbelievable!!!

Mind wont keep quiet, would it?? On my way back, I silently fought all the past of mine that came as a trailer :
where I have expected something from work, friends, managers, relatives....
where I have felt awful if my demands had not been met...
where I have complained of many things....
where I have felt elated about things that made  me happy..
where I have felt devastated about things that made me sad...
where I had blown up small mistakes into big massacres..
where I had thought I was important.....

many many things... In ten minutes travel time that's all one can think of..

Effectively, I stepped out of the car with a better confidence of facing life ahead because I just learnt that the greatest joy is in selflessness. The more we think of ourselves the more we are pained and the more we expect. We are no great souls. There are people better than us in every way... The smallest act of kindness and little compassion and a quick empathy is all you need to be happy. No amount of riches gives you the same feel as having given a helping hand to someone in need. Somewhere along my way, I seemed to have not realized or forgotten these things and got lost in my own world that I thought was Everything!!!!

 An old school thought came back to my head :

Do all the Good you can, to all the people you can, at all places you can, at all times you can, in all the ways you can, as long as you can...

My school report card used to carry this thought on its cover. I think I finally Got It!!!

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Fashion Mislead

I thought she forgot to wear her dress over her super neatly done white cotton slip. Then the sling bag, a pre-teen xerox copy beside her and her careless seeming careful make-up confirmed that she was 'dressed' up. I waved off my usual questions like.... why white?? how do u manage to walk like no one's looking at you? won't your daughter mimic you someday too?... and the like....because I had my son running around and my daughter sprinting to catch him and I obviously had to park the cotton slip lady aside in my mind.

I was busy minding my own business which is ensuring my kids were in my line of sight anytime, in the Sunday- crowded mall today. What is about Sunday crowds? people come over to just spend time... and its quite true. Nice place to window shoppe, bird watch, meet n greet, and also spend a lot of such shopaholic comes out of a shop. Nothing unnatural about it.. until u look at her dress..dress again!!!. She forgot to put on her jeans!!. Trust me... in the name of cool summer fashion people just take out a shirt from the cupboard and wear it off...!!!!.She looked well groomed.....but then i don't understand why she couldn't have chosen to wear something with the shirt. I looked carefully again just to make sure I am not missing the skin colored leggings that according to me are not required for some skin colors. They make u look again to really see if u r fully clothed!!

The next shock was a beautiful dark colored kurti on a dark-skinned beauty. black shoes and kurtis!!!. cool fashion indeed!! but why, it could have been a frock right?  or may be its just my out of trendy opinion!!. I let it pass... life got busy as my children were beginning to show signs of boredom... so I decided to leave.... on the way out i saw many fashion stores and wondered for the hundredth time why would people want to spend thousands of rupees on few items that expose more than they cover up!....

I was looking at a nice jewel piece and telling my daughter that someone has handcrafted it...was too busy explaining and watching my son run all over that I almost bumped into this lady who shocked me the most!. She was beautiful, well groomed, but definitely out of place in terms of western fashion prevalent in Bangalore. At least I have not had a chance to see someone wearing strapless dress, the length of which didn't cover anything at all beyond the basics.. and anytime her strapless could fail her fashion!!! looks. She kept adjusting it so much that I felt like handing over my dupatta to cover herself up. I was wearing a long and wide one today.

I stop blaming men for all the comments they may have on women's fashion - both for or against. Women must know that dresses are meant to cover up!! If summer is too hot, stay home!!. Don't venture out and spoil the real meaning of fashion!!.

- A very upset ME.


With new opportunities also comes to fear and self-doubt. How can we navigate these very strong forces in order to reach our fulfillment...