Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Great Soul

We have heard this word often. Today, I felt the essence of it truly. It is a practice in Indian families to host a ritual called Shrardham in remembrance of close people who have reached God's abode.
Ten years ago, the same day, we lost our grandmother. After all the initial mourning and intermediate outbursts that happen when ever we think of her, life kept us busy... I was away every year when my parents conducted the Shrardham for my grandma. This year, fortunately, I am in India and had a chance to see the proceedings and generally participate when required. The grandchildren have a small role to play in the whole ritual and it was nice to be a part of it, especially when my mind was all lost in the thoughts of the past when my grandma was around.
After ten years, I mean ten long years, even as I write this post, I am unable to stop the flowing tears.. and I don't intend to... It was like that in the morning as well when the priests were at home. I walked over to the kitchen and was wondering what I can do to take my mind off the feeling that was over pouring on me causing the tears... And I learnt that my mother  had a tear drop that of course kept to its limits within her eyes only when she said: Your grand mother was a great soul. The confidence and concern she had is extra ordinary. We are missing her deeply. I guess the only mother-in-law in the world to be missed by the daughter-in-law years after she left the world.
And then we spoke for a while and it was easy to recall the many nice things that she would have said if she were around on a given subject or topic or confusion... Later Amma was telling me how almost everyone of her acquaintances and Appa's colleagues, and the friends of ours who had come for my wedding also came to send her off on her last journey ten years ago. And all of them had this one word to say : Great Soul.
I am wondering how much of a difference she would have made to people around her during her lifetime. I have had many good times with her. I cant deny the fact that I am missing her around and more so when I am carrying her great grand child. All said, I am thankful that I had a chance to know her, to be with her, to learn from her and to love her, the way I do. If you know my family and have had a chance to see her once, I am sure, you will know what I mean.
One thought from my grandma's book of life:

Confidence is everything in life. நம்பிக்கையே வாழ்க்கை. அதுவே துணை கை.

Somehow it is easy to forget this many times, but today, it seemed right to recall and try to keep this thought close to my head and of course share it to the outside world. Probably the first post in six years, I am really writing about personal feelings, still, it is worth my time and your read if you can relate to what I just said.

And for people who have lead ordinary lives, to be remembered fondly, years after we leave this world is not an ordinary thing.

1 comment:

Priya H said...

I remember that day Deepa, when you got that call from home in the night. Never got a chance to meet your patti, but I have heard about her from you a lot. Ya, very few leave this kind of an effect on others and your patti is one of them. The thought that you have written is so related to both of us now! A timely advice (that is remembered)

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