Wednesday, December 24, 2008

To visit or not to visit

I met a friend, after what seemed like ages, on Google talk yesterday. It is Christmas vacation and I asked about vacation plans....

" I want to stay home, spend some quality time with my family, this vacation. " was the prompt response...

Now, if you know me enough, you surely understand that I would have been surprised beyond limits.... To think that a software personnel getting two weeks vacation like a school kid is in itself rare, and to think that someone actually wants to spend all that time at home is more than just 'RARE'...

I wanted to know the 'why' of it, then and there. So I asked " If not planning trips outside your town, are you not planning a few visits to your friends' places?" He said: " You should either be close enough to share work or your friend should have people to help with the arrangements for party, lunch or dinner...and not everyone you visit is comfortable with you helping out, and not every other house has someone to help with the arrangements and clearing up. In short, it is more of a causing the other person more trouble when you visit people in their houses".

There might be a thousand reasons for this decision that my friend chose to take, but the response I got made me think....

It is true that we need to be prepared to share work with the host or ensure that there is someone to get your host's house cleared up in time for the next week's morning work/school rush.

The next time you plan to visit someone, here are the points we could consider :

- Suggest that the host orders food from outside.
- If that does not work, offer to share work.
- Do not plan to cook exotic dishes if there are too many people around.
- The idea is to spend time together and not eat or drink like there is no tomorrow.
- If there are kids, let them do their bit for the party, so tomorrow when they have to host or take part, they'll know to host and to offer help.
- If your host has a baby, consider making your visits short.
- Even if it a party invite that you've got, and even if you are forced to think that it is your host's problem to clear the place, the least you can do is keep things in a decent order before you leave.
If that does not work, the best you can do is leave early, and let them work in peace.
- However tempting it does sound to stay on and continue talking or partying, remember that everyone has his priorities the next day.

If you are the host, do not expect any of these from your folks.. They are in your place to honor your invitation.. If you are the types who doesn't understand that after a party, it takes about a day or two for your house to function in routine, its best you don't host one. If you still have to, accept any help [major/minor]that you can get.

There is no point in creating an aftermath scene in the house that kills any interest to host another party.
There is also no point in making your host secretly say: This is the last invite I would send this person.

Merry Christmas :)

1 comment:

nishitak said...

You hit the nail on the head, as usual...truly meeting people at their homes is an ordeal, never mind, if it's my house or someone else's.
I so much prefer dinner parties at a restaurant, where we can all talk, without there being a harassed host / hostess in the kitchen !

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