Sunday, April 15, 2012

Lesson on how to ignore

A big finding of the day is to resolve problems just by ignoring the problem makers - issues or people. Does not make sense? Does not sound simple?

Let me say how it works. When there is a statement or comment or opinion or advice that is troublesome to you or not in agreement with your policy or simply not your cup of tea, then the best way to deal with it is to keep quiet and not give a comment. When probed once, try to answer as politely as possible. When further disturbed about the point, simply smile and say that it is just your view of things and try to leave the discussion table.

This works better than arguing and proving yourself right at times.. which has been the way I was unconsciously operating all these years. Today I observed that 'To Ignore' is the best way to avoid conflicts and stress to our heads with people who are capable of landing you straight to the hospital ward for a blood pressure shoot up. I gave my views and walked out of the discussion not because I thought it is what I wanted to do, but because I wanted to just take care of my shooting temper. Again, I observed that the other person on the table who was also a part of the discussion simply kept silence.. When I answered back and argued a point, it back fired to me.

When I stepped out of the discussion and started doing whatever was my next priority of the day, I felt a wonderful sense of victory and suddenly realized that the other person who kept silence on the table already won. The one who gave the subject of discussion actually heard herself out; that is all. It only showed that she had some thoughts deep down inside her and showed her real person to the rest of us.

It seemed perfectly illogical and a solid waste of time and energy to make someone with that persona understand our views and beliefs. It also struck me as a lightening that none of us have to prove ourselves to anyone else in this world.. So most arguments that waste our time, effort and energy can be avoided simply by the ignore formula.

The Final Big Note : The ignore formula applies only to topics and subjects that become discussions and arguments  because of generation  gap for those who are above 28 years of age. IGNORE is not the standard way to resolve issues.. It is the last way to resolve a problem and is subject to the persona and issue that is creating the stress. Use your head to decide when to use the formula.

1 comment:

nishitak said...

I love this ignore formula. I have started doing this for all sorts of arbid political discussions, family disputes, etc. works wonders :D

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