Thappad - A slap!

'Thappad' translates to Slap in English.

I loved the lead lady's facial expression in the trailer, so I clicked 'Play' to watch the movie. 

The storyline goes like this: 

Amrita and Varun are happily married. Varun gets a senior role in London. The couple had been waiting to relocate to London. When the news of the promotion and the role officially came in Varun throws a party for a close circle of 40 people - professional and personal. The evening was fun-filled which directly translates to drinks, dance, food, and networking. The boss quietly tells Varun that the offer has been passed on to someone else, and Varun is going to stay in India. To everyone's disapproval and dismay, Varun loses his cool and yells at the boss and the other people whom he suspected may have had a corporate politics role-play behind the change of plans. Sensing that his behavior was probably because he was too drunk, Amrita tries to pull away Varun from the scene. Varun slaps her tight and hard on her face! 

Now, that was hard for anyone to take, even the viewers on the screen and off the screen, like me for instance. 

Amrita was head over heels in love with her husband dearest, Mr. Varun. She has been a happy, dutiful, beautiful wife whose sole focus in life was her husband's routines and taking care of the family in general. A good dancer that she was, she used to spend time teaching dance classes for the 16-year-old next door, Sanya. 

Sanya's mom was a happy widowed wife living in the memories of her loving husband. She only had nice memories of him she says. The mother and daughter were best friends and both knew each other's minds without even having to say. It was a lovely portrait I must say, the family next door. Amrita loved the family.

Amrita's maid Sunita was a very sincere, villager who came from the typical under-privileged home where she got beaten up badly by her husband. Amrita's family was very nice to her and understood her pains and could give her off when she could not make it to work in their home. Sunita helped with housekeeping and cooking.

Then there is a smart young lawyer in the movie whose life partner failed to appreciate talent or notice the wife or express genuine love. She could not find her peace in the relationship.

Then there is this beautiful married life in which Amrita's parents lived. You'll surely like these people.

Varun's dad and mom were not exactly in love and Varun grew up seeing his mom sidelined which is exactly what he has done to his wife too. Those who noticed will know to behave better in front of kids, the next time. 

Then there was Amrita's brother's girlfriend who worked with the lawyer. Her love story became more clear with the Thappad's reaction by the brother.

Now, all these women's lives changed because of the turn of events in Amrita's slap episode and its aftermath, separation. Watch it to get the story in detail. Nice drama and quite a neat one as well. Anyone above 17 will understand the movie, but to make sense of it you must at least be 25 years of age.

Now, the rant:

Wonderful movie to teach the men that women need to be noticed once in a while for what they are in a man’s life.

and a 

Not-so-great movie for the women really because I do not agree with the ending of the movie. 

What can anyone do beyond realizing his mistake genuinely? Once the man apologized and if you have loved him as much as you claim to, you should be able to just let go. After all, he was not philandering in the woods or murdering people behind your back or drugging himself to death or beating you up every single day.

He just lost his temper and one thing leads to another and the slap blew out of proportion circumstantially. Sometimes it is good to assume that the man you love is talking genuinely and apologizing truly and it’s okay to accept him. Simply because love is definitely worth your effort 

The movie was taken so well and that would make you believe that the girl is right until the point in the climax when the man really apologizes and talks from the deepest of his feelings. At that point, the woman failed to come down from her stance. 

Frankly, this iron stubbornness is not going to do womanhood and the world anything. I don’t care if this makes me sound conservative and a love-struck lady, but trust me, a woman who cannot forgive for her own love is a hard partner to live with. 

In the world of self-importance, this movie is another addition to say that man and wife are formal people in the association with marriage and that one little trouble and they can take each other to court and kill the marriage.

To both men and women alike: 

If you cannot forgive, forget, adjust, accommodate, respect, love, give, and commit why should you marry? 

If it is all about you, yourself, your likes, your tastes, your dignity, your ego, your wants, your needs, your self-respect, self-love, self-esteem, big-self then what is the point in wanting another person in your life? 

• A live-in relationship would do for all-things adult. 
• A cook can come in for cooking needs. 
• The housekeeper is available for cleaning needs. 
• You can find a lot of ways to give and share the love with children. 

What is marriage then? 

Do not confuse love and marriage. The two are different things that would best go well with each other but not necessarily all the time if one party is too self-centered.  

It is never my life in marriage. It is always our life. It is never my money. It is always our money. It is never my child. It is always our child. Now, if fundamentally some people can never think of ‘our’ in marriage, then why marry? 

Give and take should be there is what most people say collectively. True. 

Sometimes, it will be one person gives and the other person takes. In another instance, it will be the reverse. 

• Some people give 30 percent to marriage and the partner has to give 70. Tallies to 100. 
• One person may give 100, the other will probably give 0, tallies to 100.
• In some marriages, it is 50-50. Tallies to 100. 

We must also remember that we all do not always score 100 percent. Some marriages will be 70 percent with 30 - 40 breakup in terms of giving.. still it works to a decent 70!. The results turn out satisfactory in the end. You see my point? If you do not, look around and see the long-married lives of older couples. They surely have not been their best in marriage, still, their marriage seems to have scored well although not 100… and they are holding hands just to ensure that they save themselves from a fall on the road. That is all is success in the end.

I am not saying put up with crap…. I am only saying to give it some time and thought. 

Please value yourself, no doubt, but remember that you are the weakest if you cannot give your time, love, effort for your commitment. Whatever it is - education, work, family, marriage, love, all relationships.

Everything takes effort. Don’t assume love for granted in marriage. You must work to constantly upskill and overhaul your love life. 

Please think over: More and more about ‘self’ and ‘self only’ which is the crux of almost all the problems in the world at large.

• It is hard to get used to someone especially when he or she is also new to the institution of marriage. 
• Give space, but do not alienate yourself from your spouse in the name of being busy. 
• Applies to both parties. Take an interest in each others' lives. 
• Never let go of a good friend's hand as soon as you get married. Often it is that one friend who can help you see the right from wrong in your perspective when your brain is going on the shocking emotional bouts in marriage. Your friend understands you more than your spouse in the initial days of marriage. As YEARS pass, when the couple gets to know each other better, the understanding will improve if the underlying thread of commitment stays strong in one person's mind.
• Never confuse love, intimacy, and marriage. They are not exactly closely-connected as is expected, portrayed, dreamt of, wished, mandated, and lived by your next-door neighbor or your Facebook friend's recent holiday photograph. 
• Be nice to husbands and wives as they are learning the roles too. 
• Learn and understand the basic synonyms before you get married. 1. Respect 2. Space 3. Love 4. Commitment 5. Expression 6. Temperaments and Emotions 7. Need 8. Want 9. The value of a please, thank you, and sorry. 10. Sharing.
• A warm hug or any other expression that would cover all the little issues in less than a minute is mandatory in a marriage, where love takes a back seat often in the race of commitment. It is easy to go through and grow in married life if there is a strand of love that is able to see tantrums from random, temper from depressive feeling. AND THIS TAKES TIME and AGE.

In the end, it all boils down to how much is too much? What is important in married life for you? If it is all about self, think again... applies to both parties.  

Thappad definitely is a good watch. Must watch if you have the maturity to see beyond the slap too. Remember, the slap became big because it was in public. There are many more 'taking for granted' attitudes happening inside family lives. Not saying put up with every nonsense.. weigh what is important and never forget what the relationship means to you. 

Say less of 'I don't care' and 'I can't bother' and 'It's not my problem'. Simple tricks that would help you live a great married life. 

All opinions in this post are totally personal and have a bearing on seeing marriage in a better light for the people who are yet to make the big move in their lives.