Habit is second nature! Mind your habits

The adage is true and while I am a strong advocate of nurturing good habits, I also suddenly notice that some habits can develop into a little more than nature - Obsession which causes pain to self and the surrounding.

Trait, Character, Nature are terms that have very thin line difference as I see. The trait is something that is inherent but gained from one parent. Character is something that you consciously or unconsciously build. Nature is what you came with. 

These can be changed/restricted/improved/practiced/avoided with some conscious efforts. Whether we want to do it, is based on the individual’s mindset.

With this understanding, if ‘Habit is second nature’, it takes some effort to ensure that we have the right habits because it is linked with our nature.

When we say ‘right habit’, it is always circumstantial. While the right habit is to remove your shoes and go inside a home, in a cold country, if you walk barefoot in a non-carpeted home, you may end up getting aches and pains all over, or worse conditions of chills. The habit doesn’t work well in this situation. This must go!

All suggested practises that became habits always apply for a situation only. However, the common sense fails almost always, and we cannot get over the habits.  ‘Old habits die hard’ is so true. 

While we follow a habit and believe it is the best way, we always remember that it works for us this way in this situation. When the external parameter changes, we must be prepared to accommodate a newer practice/habit/nature.

I do not mean to say keep changing colours of your nature like a chameleon is gifted to, but being very adamant in one’s stand just because it is a habit that cannot be compromised on, is not doing any good too.

If you have the habit of waking up at 10:00 am every day during the holiday, would you continue to do that if you have regular work catch-up sessions at 10:00 am?

You won’t. If you do that, then it says, ‘You don’t care anymore about the meetings, the agenda, or the person. Make a conscious decision on what makes you skip the meeting. If it is one of these, then resolve it. If it is your late morning habit, then change it.

While this is only one simple example, a score of these seemingly non-affecting habits can be a total put off on your time, personality, health or peace of mind, sometimes of yours alone. As long as something affects/effects only your life, it is a call that you can take. To change is always a self-initiative. We can never force change.

And sometimes, it can disturb everyone around you, as the habit moves from being the nature to being an obsession. Now, this is the reason we are even discussing the habit aspect. If something that we do (obsessively) as it is in our ‘nature’, and if it hampers the rest of the surrounding clan, then it calls for a change, almost non-negotiable.

Someone I know, got the skin of her palm damaged permanently with her obsession over washing hands. She has been asked to abstain from using any kind of washing soaps on her palm for a lifetime!. While medical knowledge (although minimal) makes it clear that the root cause can also be some other issue, the doctors have given a sizable credit to the obsessive habit of washing hands with soap. She is 88 years of age now and wears special hand gloves for doing things which may make her touch soap and water. To satisfy her paranoia of germs and obsessive-compulsive disorder of clean hands, the doctor has advised gloves for kitchen use and gloves for general use. The palms are to be kept dry. 

Can you imagine not washing hands with soap at all?? I cannot, but since this is a real incident which I know of, I am convinced that obsessions are detrimental to well-being.

Now that we are convinced about changing the habits which have grown past our nature levels into the obsession levels, let’s mindfully look at ways to change them:

1. Note down your obsessive practice every time you do it/want to do it. Count the number of times you give in to it every day.
2. Repeat the above step for 5 days.

You notice that as you note this down, the obsessive habit comes down drastically in five days with a simple step of maintaining a count of the number of times you wanted to do it. Subconsciously, we all want to be good to our inner sense of ‘Being’. A simple step such as this journal would be enough to work on any habit, without doing much change in the ‘Thinking’ for the first five days.

At the next level, you must take each of the instances and explain why you said/did what you said? Your audience is self. Explain your act/word thoroughly to yourself. If you can explain to yourself, then if you are the balanced individual you will spot the mistake or trigger beforehand.

At the third level, you can stay away from the thing/people that make the habit surface often. After a certain period, it will fade away.

With all these, if you cannot change a habit, then counselling services  are your best bet. 

You definitely need to mind your habits starting today!!!! Find the ones that need to Go!!! Keep the ones that you must!!! This could also be another way of ‘Minding’ your own business.